


all i know is how to hide

by shxnobu



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: A whole lotta swearing, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Death, Mutual Pining, Prestigious school AU, Strangers to Lovers, also helps if you've seen spirited away, based off dollhouse by melanie martinez, but its not overt, dejun just wants to help him, ft. louis, gay little xiaodery, homophobia at the end, lapslock, listen b4 u read, mentions of drug/alcohol addictions, sicheng best boy, stabbing (i’ll put another warning before it happens), two-faced kunhang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25324645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shxnobu/pseuds/shxnobu
Summary: “what’s happening?” sicheng ushered, concern clear in his tone.“i said i’m okay, i just left with kunhang after school.” dejun said, attempting to calm sicheng.“we just hung out, talked about the project. oh, and i met his cat, too. i also met some other people…” he trailed off, waiting for the other boy to catch on.“you met his parents too??”dejun pursed his lips. “yeah. i can’t get into specifics, but...” he quickly looked around him before speaking again. “you were right. there’s something seriously wrong with this family.”; in which dejun helps kunhang with a self-realization after spending years hiding behind a façade, sicheng watches the whole thing while eating popcorn, and donghyuck exists solely to take down the system.edit (dec. 17, 2020): this is the same xiaodery dollhouse fic, i just gave it a makeover :D
Relationships: Wong Kun Hang | Hendery/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Comments: 19
Kudos: 73





	all i know is how to hide

**Author's Note:**

> referenced songs  
> melanie martinez - dollhouse  
> youmi kimura - always with me / itsumo nando demo  
> keshi - right here
> 
> AND REMEMBER TO READ THE WARNINGS IN THE TAGS DD:

“wong family and the choi institution to celebrate successful business collaboration with massive dinner party next month.” dejun said sardonically, reading aloud from the school’s newspaper in his hands. 

“as if everyone doesn’t already know the wongs have never had an unsuccessful project. with the choi’s too? impossible to fail.” sicheng stood next to him behind the counter, skillfully scanning in overdue books as dejun sat on the counter with his legs crossed. 

the two had volunteer jobs at their prestigious school’s library, taking in occasional shifts after classes. the library was luxurious; crystal chandeliers hanging graciously, more windows than walls, book ailes that went for miles, the botanical garden right across and, from the south window, the school’s individual buildings curving around the main courtyard. imagine… ouran high school type. 

“they seem like… agreeable people, makes sense no one would reject an offer from them.” dejun flipped the page, lazily skimming over the articles for something more interesting to read. he silently laughed at the **_gym locker-door thief strikes again_ **headline. truly, corny writing. you see… the thief didn’t steal from lockers, no… they stole the doors specifically. 

”yeah, they’re nice. _suspiciously_ nice. they’re… too perfect.” sicheng spoke ominously, pausing for dramatic effect. “however, i heard that they were genuine, decent people at some point.” he squinted before continuing. “but then, their company started growing, and they begun to become rich. now… they’re like robots.” he finished the stack, turning around to grab another portion of the pile. dejun jumped slightly when sicheng dropped the books with a loud thud right next to him. 

“too perfect?” dejun repeated.

“they just give off... bad energy, you know?,” sicheng explained, wavering the scanner around as he tries to put his words together. “even when talking to them, they’re so nauseatingly polite that it feels like it’s just a facade. the most normal one is the youngest son, but he’s got to have a few screws loose as well, having a family like that.” 

“you mean kunhang? have you talked to him before?” 

“no, but you should’ve. he’s in your class, isn’t he?”

dejun shrugged. he had never spoken to kunhang before despite going to elementary with the boy and even seeing him and his family at a few parties. he flipped back to the page where the article was. there was a picture of the wong’s and choi’s shaking hands, but he focused on the young man standing on the far left. 

wong kunhang, the most perfect an 18 year old could possibly get. athletic, top of the class, friendly, pristine uniform condition, with a pretty face and silky, black hair to top it all off. he was a decent person, dejun believed. actually, the entire city believed that. everyone knew about the wongs and respected them. they were the perfect family with beautiful, talented children and a huge, successful business, and _everyone_ knew that. 

one can’t help but wonder how they do it so well. 

* * *

“before you leave for spring break, i’m assigning the end-of-term projects i promised at the start of the year, meaning you have a month to complete it. you’re making presentations that are based on what we studied so far this year, half of you will draw your partner’s name and together you’ll pick your topic.” ms. park announced with an upbeat in her voice. cue the distressed groans around the classroom. 

“this will be interesting, i promise. you just have to create a situational skit using the dialogue to explain your topic. easy, right?” the psychology teacher grinned, attempting to brighten the mood despite delivering uncomfortable news. 

“once you pick your partner, please find them and you’ll discuss your topics until the bell rings.” 

ms. park sauntered in between the rows of desks holding a box of paper strips to students whose names weren’t written on them. dejun zoned out as he waited for his turn, half-mindedly overhearing his classmates. 

“who the hell is lucas?” “he’s behind you, mark.” 

“not jaemin a-fucking-gain…” “fuck you too, donghyuck.” 

“renjun? thank god, it’s not an idiot.” “i’m flattered.” 

dejun refocused when ms. park shuffled the box of papers, carefully picking one as he secretly hoped it wasn’t someone he didn’t know. 

_wong kunhang? not too bad, me thinks._

dejun glanced at kunhang whose desk was a few rows behind him. he was busy scribbling down something on his paper before looking up as dejun approached him. 

“hey, kunhang. i consider myself a decent partner, but just in case, you should lower whatever standards you had set for me.” dejun half-joked, holding up kunhang’s paper. this was his way of covering up his crippling self-consciousness around the other boy; make fun of yourself first, before anyone else does. 

“i don’t think i’ll have to, considering seeing your spotless projects this year,” he smiled, pearly teeth displaying beautifully. “you can sit, dejun, i don’t have a seat mate.” dejun took the offer, ending up sitting next to kunhang closer than he expected, too awkward to shift his chair in the other direction. normally, he wasn’t bothered by physical contact, but knowing what sicheng told him the night before gave him a nervous feeling about the boy next to him. he brushed it off. 

their teacher came around a second time, with topics on the scrap papers instead of student names. the two sat in not-so-awkward silence as they waited, dejun nervously spinning his pen between his fingers. 

“phobias and anxiety. well, shit.” “i know nothing, i am only fearless.”

“stress and sleep deprivation? how fucking ironic.” “shut up, donghyuck.” 

“ew, love and passion.” “we don’t know her.” 

kunhang picked the paper this time, unfolding it and showing it to dejun, topic on full display. 

**social cognitions and perceptions**

they both nodded approvingly at each other, satisfied with their decently interesting subject. 

“just curious, are you the type to finish projects early?” dejun asked, doodling mindlessly on the paper. 

“i do my best. did you want to meet up this weekend to work?” kunhang tilted his head, unintentionally giving dejun a piercing gaze, despite the slight smile he showed, as he waited for his answer. he didn’t mean to terrify dejun, but dejun was definitely terrified. he silently cursed sicheng for telling him about the wong family conspiracies last night. 

“yeah sure, if that’s okay with you.” _damn, dejun. since when were you a pushover? he’ll use that against you someday! do you realize how powerful he is? did you forget whose family he’s a part of? do you WANT to get yourself assassinated?_

kunhang chuckled. “of course it’s okay with me. library on saturday at 2? i’d suggest earlier but i have tutors in the morning and afternoon…” 

dejun tilted his head. “tutors?” the other boy nodded, “piano and violin. personally, i think i’m fine but my parents think i can become even better.” 

_of course he’s musically inclined. he really is perfect. maybe you can duet with him one day, if sicheng hadn’t permanently ruined your image of him._

“ah, i play piano too. i understand. library is fine with me, i have a night shift there anyway.” dejun scribbled the meeting details in his planner (he lowkey never used it, he just didn’t want kunhang to think he was unorganized).

“oh, you’re working? shouldn’t i not bother you?” kunhang asked, slight worry showing in his flawless complexion. dejun shook his head. 

“it’s just volunteering, and my shift doesn’t even start until ten after 6. don’t worry about me not eating dinner, my coworker brings extra food for me since i usually forget.” 

the other boy let out a small sigh of relief. “i thought i was pressuring you for a second, but i guess i’ll see you on saturday?” 

dejun blinked. “yeah. saturday.”

the bell rang. 

* * *

“social cognitions: the way we think about others. not simply a topic within psychology, but an approach on how we study psychology in general. it involves the process of how we perceive other people, how we think of them, and how we remember them. it also includes how we make a first impression on others, and how you interpret their first impression on you, for example, how to read their mannerisms and general behaviour. how does that soun- dejun?” kunhang paused from reading aloud from his notes, seeing dejun distracted by the project criteria on his laptop, witnessing in real-time their teacher adding more to the list with a horrified expression. 

“ ‘just a situational skit’ my ass! it has to be at least fifteen minutes with a script longer than eight pages. there’s a handout to prepare too, plus any additional research notes for the class q&a at the end. and look at all the checkboxes we have to include… man, i did _not_ sign up for this.” dejun vented, letting out a low whistle at the end. 

he sighed, letting his forehead slowly make contact with the table as his non-dominant hand stopped supporting his head up. his back and neck were slouched against the table in contrast to kunhang’s own correct posture. the other boy watched amusingly, spinning his pen around his fingers. 

“don’t worry, i was listening. it sounds good so far. what was that; the opening?” dejun spoke, voice muffled. kunhang laughed, but not loud enough to be told to shut up by surrounding library visitors. “it’s just what i put together from my notes, we can either put that in our script and maybe modify it, or stick it in the handout as a point form.” 

dejun gave a lifeless thumbs up. “i’m sorry for complaining, i just hate the thought of presentations. they make me anxious.” he earned another melodical laugh from the other boy. was he that funny? 

“i- sorry, i’m not making fun of you, i totally feel the same way. public speaking is something i’m not good at. i hate it, rather.” 

this caused dejun to lift his head, staring questioningly at kunhang. he recalled the other boy’s flawless presentations earlier in the year. “i’m shocked, i thought you were ‘mr. perfect’” he joked, using air quotes with his fingers. he dropped his head again. 

kunhang looked away, eyes shifting nervously. weird.

“yeah, that’s probably what you think of me, huh? it’s funny how wrong people are...” he muttered the last part. the other boy lifted his head again, “sorry, can you repeat that? i didn’t hear you.” 

kunhang opened his mouth to blurt out some excuse when the school’s clock tower rang, signifying the hour changing. 6 o’clock. 

“it’s six already?” dejun looked out the library’s bigass windows, seeing the sunset seep through onto the school buildings. he looked at kunhang apologetically. “i should prepare for my shift, but you’re welcome to stick around.” 

the other boy smiled and shook his head politely. “i would, but i shouldn’t be in your way while you’re working. tell your coworker i said hi.” he stood up as he collected his papers and packed his laptop before dejun could protest. 

dejun watched him leave as he walked to the checkout counter, unlocking the side door with his volunteer’s set of keys. 

he glanced at the looming pile of books that needed relabelling and cracked his knuckles, preparing himself for the writing of a lifetime. he waited for sicheng as he tediously unpeeled old labels and sharpied new ones, stomach grumbling occasionally. 

_day two of being kunhang’s partner, complete. he’s so naturally kind it’s petrifying. i might as well have been with a celebrity._

he tch’d to himself, already feeling the headache from the sharpie fumes. 

* * *

“you’re paired up with who now?” sicheng was bewildered, listening to dejun talk about his day until he mentioned his psychology project. 

“...wong kunhang…” he repeated softly. 

“no. _way._ ” 

“i’m sorr-“ 

“have you talked to him yet? what’s he like? is he like the rumours say? does he really converse like a robot?” sicheng spewed. dejun could barely register his words that flew by miles a second. as the questions went on, they started to make less sense. 

“woah, woah there!” he put down the sharpie to grab sicheng by the shoulders, successfully shutting him up in what was supposed to be a quiet library and workplace. 

“yes i’ve talked to him, we just had a study session before work. he’s nice, down-to-earth, and acts like a normal person. not rigid at all. he talks naturally and has a decent sense of humour, seeing that he laughs at almost everything i say. he’s just like any other student in the school, only that he radiates pure energy like no other. is that good enough for you?” 

sicheng grinned and nodded. the other boy had realized sicheng’s passion for gossip long ago, only proves that the quieter people are the ones with sinister tendencies. 

dejun sighed, dropping his arms and head. “can we switch? i can almost feel the arthritis.” he moved to open his backpack, leaving his seat for the taller boy who obliged happily. 

“huh?” he whispered, mainly to himself but sicheng overheard anyway. 

“what’s up?” 

dejun turned around holding a brown parchment wrapped specimen with a note written in neat handwriting. 

“you brought food? that’s new.” sicheng cackled, sarcastic but not knowing that dejun wasn’t the one behind it. 

**_i know you said you had food from your coworker, but i still feel bad for making you skip your dinner to work with me :(_ **

**_i stopped by my favourite bakery after my tutor sessions for these, and they’re freshly made too. enjoy!_ **

**_\- w. kunhang_ **

if dejun said his heart hadn’t soared at the gesture, he’d be lying. he wondered why kunhang hadn’t given it to him earlier. 

_i couldn’t have refused it if he wasn’t there to give it to me…. well played, kunhang._

he was unaware of his zoning-out moment until sicheng snatched the small, neatly wrapped package out of his hands, reading the note with a dirty smile on his face. 

“be careful eating these, he might’ve poisoned them.” he joked, handing it back to a blushing dejun. 

“it has the bakery’s logo on it, it hasn’t even been opened, smartass.” said blushing boy. he carefully tore open the package, seeing two chocolate chip cookies. expected, but very much appreciated. 

* * *

the two boys had continued their working sessions after class, staying at the library on evenings regardless if dejun had shifts or not. either way, kunhang never failed to bring some sort of snack for the other boy despite repeatedly telling kunhang that he never needed to. this further developed their friendship, something neither of them had expected at the start of the project.

(sicheng makes dejun tell him all the tea about kunhang, though most of the time there wasn’t any. as far as dejun knew, and he was discovering more and more about kunhang everyday, he was just as normal as any other boy. his favourite colour was pink, he hated frogs, he loved pokémon and dancing, and knew cantonese as well. the last one was dejun’s favourite; he already knew kunhang spoke cantonese from his name, but it was fun to have someone else to do it with.)

today, however, was different. it was a national holiday, being on a friday, where schools and shops were closed. that meant that there was no usual library to work at. 

“it seems everything’s closed, kunhang. i would open the library just for us but my supervisor would run my ass into the ground.” dejun mumbled, having kunhang on speaker on his desk while he looked for open cafés and study spaces on his laptop. 

the silence from the other side tells dejun that kunhang is thinking, himself unsure of how they could get work done today. 

well, dejun thought of one option, but he didn’t know how the other boy would respond. 

fuck it. 

“you can come over?” he suggested, doubt clouding his brain as soon as he said it. 

“oh, are you sure, though?” the other boy spoke, unwilling to bring himself into dejun’s home unless he was truly comfortable with it. 

dejun knew his family wouldn’t mind if he brought a friend over whether they knew beforehand or not. however, he was worried that kunhang would get bombarded with attention, what with being in the family who held the best reputation in the city and all. 

“yeah, don’t worry. just be aware of possibly being babied by my mom, her kindness is overwhelming sometimes.”

kunhang let out a hearty laugh. “okay, text me your address and whenever you prefer me to come.” 

* * *

> I’m outside!

**_from: kunhang, 12:26pm_ **

dejun had already been panicking for the last twenty minutes, trying to make himself and his room as presentable for the other boy as possible. although, it wasn’t like he lived in a dirty apartment; his family was rich and lived in a beautiful manor, it wasn’t hard to make a good impression on kunhang. his room, however… was the only space he was responsible for. dejun kept it generally clean, but he continued overthinking certain furniture placements and walking in from the door to better see from a ”visitor’s” point of view. 

dejun, still panicking _but internally,_ texted a ‘be right there!’ in response. he mentally collected himself before opening the door for kunhang who had just stepped out of the black, shiny car, the chauffeur then driving away. he smiled at dejun as he stepped down the stone tile path. 

“hurry, so you don’t get caught by my mom. she won’t stop talking to you once she starts.” dejun let the other boy in, closing the door behind him. kunhang let out a “what do you mean?” before footsteps were approaching from the hallway. he had barely gotten to admire the foyer before dejun’s mother appeared and swept him into conversation, fussing over him and, you know… just being a caring mother figure. 

(“by the way, mom, i have a friend coming over soon. you haven’t really met him before but if you could please not overwhelm him…” dejun began, pausing at the end to see if his mother got the hint. 

mrs. xiao laughed and ruffled her son’s hair. “no promises, sweetie.”)

so much for that, dejun. 

dejun felt awkward watching them talk, and embarrassed because of how most of it came from his mother. then he caught a glance at kunhang, watching him eloquently communicate in cantonese (which made mrs. xiao even happier) and overall maintaining a polite smile, showcasing his natural charisma. 

“oh, you’re such a sweetie! i’m so glad dejun has a friend like you. i’ve seen your parents briefly at some dinner parties, but i never knew you were so handsome, isn’t he, siujeun?” mrs. xiao cooed, squishing kunhang’s face in her hands in the most motherly way. kunhang smiled shyly, displaying his perfect teeth whilst a light pink dusted his cheeks. 

dejun immediately blushed at the abrupt spotlight. he could only nod hesitantly before dragging kunhang away from his mother. “i guess, but we have school stuff to do, so…” 

“ah, okay, okay! you have fun!” mrs. xiao smiled fondly as dejun hurriedly went up the stairs with kunhang close behind, waving a quick bye and a “it’s nice to meet you!” to her. 

it wasn’t until they got to dejun’s room when dejun realized that he had been holding kunhang’s wrist the entire time. he looked down at their hands as they stood in the middle of the room, and then back up at kunhang who stared at him with his eyebrows raised. 

“so… siujeun _,_ huh?” he teased at dejun’s nickname, the corners of his mouth curving up slightly. the other boy (still blushing) scoffed, whipping his hand away from kunhang’s wrist. “xiaojun in mandarin. everyone in my family calls me that, it’s a nickname i can’t get rid of.” 

“you can leave your coat on my bed, though i don’t understand why you would make me feel underdressed in my own home in the first place.” dejun gestured to his bed as he sat at his desk chair, eyebrows raised judgmentally. 

he was joking, of course, but seriously. look at him. he watched as kunhang shrugged off his coat (which was unnecessarily long, it went to his knees), revealing a black crewneck underneath and slim pants that only made his legs look longer. not that dejun meant to, but he definitely noticed how kunhang’s shirt fit nicely to unveil the outline of his torso. 

“i actually regret wearing this, you look so comfortable.” kunhang sat at the edge of the bed near the desk so he could be face to face with dejun. 

dejun glances down briefly at himself, dressed in black joggers and a white hoodie. yeah, he was definitely comfortable. 

when he looked back up, he caught kunhang staring right back at him with his head tilted curiously, as if he was studying dejun. not like he was trying to dive into dejun’s darkest secrets, more like inspecting his facial details; the twinkle in his eyes, the shape of his eyebrows (immaculate, by the way), the delicate curves of his lips, those types of things. 

this sent dejun straight into the sea of _self-consciousness,_ yet he couldn’t ignore how kunhang’s face was… kind of mesmerizing. but this wasn’t time to get ahead of himself, they still had work to do! 

“ew, stop staring at me.” dejun lightly pushed kunhang’s face away bashfully, sounding serious but the smile was still evident in his expression. 

kunhang waved off dejun’s hand while laughing, then folded his hands in his lap as he leant forward, watching the other boy open their shared documents on his laptop. “right. so, what should we get done today, siujeun?” 

_BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_

(not that dejun noticed, but kunhang was uncharacteristically quieter than usual after that.) 

* * *

dejun walked home after work the next shift, bidding sicheng goodbye as he closed the library. the cool, crisp, late winter breeze felt refreshing on his face, having been stuck in warm, muggy library air for several hours. 

he decided to take a shortcut, cutting through one of the streets along the river. the street was small compared to the others in the neighbourhood, but it was a popular tourist attraction with several parks and a few convenience stores. 

it was when he sat outside after buying a tea drink from the store when he saw a lean figure sitting on the stairs facing the river. they had thick, black hair and their posture was immaculate. dejun couldn’t see their face but he still knew who it was. 

_he should’ve gone home before my shift started…_

dejun, making minimal sound or sign of his presence, re-entered the store to buy an extra for kunhang. you know, as a ‘thank you’ for all the times kunhang bought food for him. 

he then sat down next to kunhang, leaning his head on his hand as he stared at the other boy. 

“thought you went home?” dejun asked, his quiet voice sounding louder compared to the water rushing in the river nearby. he offered the other drink to kunhang who accepted it hesitantly, taking a small sip before whispering a ‘thank you’. 

“i did, but i don’t want to be there right now. in fact, i’m glad you’re here. i don’t have to pretend i have a stick up my ass like i do around others.” kunhang spoke, voice slightly rougher than usual.

“why is it different with me?” dejun asked, pretending not to be startled at the other boy’s sudden change in attitude, going against what everyone in the city believed him to be. 

kunhang gave him a once-over before making eye contact with him. “you don’t seem like you care. the school’s ‘perfect boy’ actually isn’t perfect at all? you give a shit about that stuff, i remember how sarcastic you were about it a few weeks ago.” he looked down, chuckling. 

“i… you’re right. well… i _do_ care, but it’s not like i’ll go around the school telling everyone.” dejun smiled sheepishly. “it’s nice to know you’re as normal as the rest of us.” he joked, subconsciously scooting closer to the taller boy. he didn’t notice how serious the situation is until he realized kunhang never responded, still staring out at the river. 

“kunhang… are you okay?” dejun asked, tilting his head. this wasn’t a quick, brief question only to be answered with a half-assed “i’m fine”. he was sincere. dejun knew something was off, he felt it in his gut. 

there was a minute or two of silence before kunhang finally spoke. 

“your family is really nice, dejun.” 

kunhang raised his head to look at the shorter boy who seemed slightly taken back by the statement. 

“what does that have to do with anything?” 

“that day i met your mom, and your dad, your brother, you showed me around the house and everyone there... it’s all so normal and welcoming. you don’t just have a house, you have a home.” kunhang bit the inside of his cheek, then said quietly, “everything i don’t have.” 

and for the first time since he’d met kunhang, dejun had finally seen the other boy in his true nature... yet so broken at the same time. 

he moved even closer to kunhang. he didn’t know if the other boy felt it too, but his shoulders burned where they touched. 

“what’s your family like?” dejun asked, softer and quieter than ever. there was no way that the most well known, richest, reputable family in the area wasn't actually what they came off to be… right? dejun remembered sicheng’s words for a moment,

_“but then, their company started growing, and they begun to become rich. now… they’re like robots.”_

_KUNHANG DIDN’T ACTUALLY COME FROM A FAMILY OF ROBOTS… RIGHT???_

dejun’s breath hitched. _he… isn’t also one… he can’t be…_

he stared warily at kunhang before realizing he overthought _way_ too hard and relaxed his body. 

“you won’t believe me if i told you.” kunhang said, voice full of doubt. 

dejun wasn’t having it, oh no, he wasn’t going to leave kunhang hanging like that. not after he had made himself so vulnerable around him. 

“try me.” 

kunhang gawked at the older boy. “huh?” 

dejun blinked. “let me meet your family. i’ll judge them myself.” he deadpanned, yet seeming weirdly confident. 

the other boy raised an eyebrow. “okay… i’ll take you to my house when you don’t have a shift,” his initial hesitation wore off as he spoke. “is that anytime this week? 

dejun nodded. “i have friday off. yangyang’s filling in for me.” 

kunhang sighed, looking back at the river. “good, good…” he breathed, although it was more to reassure himself than anything. he shut his eyes and dropped his head, then focused again on dejun with a completely different demeanour. fixed posture, polite expression, bright eyes; the usual kunhang was back. dejun couldn’t figure out why that brought disappointment to his stomach. 

“i’ll see you then, dejun. thanks for talking with me.” 

and with that, they bid each other bye. 

  
  
  


dejun laid in bed once he got home, thinking of the many possibilities of how friday would go. 

he was nervous, because it meant having to make a really good impression. 

he was excited, because he would get to know kunhang even better. they were good friends now, after all. they’d have to be, considering they’ve spent at least four hours together everyday for the past three weeks. however, this was the first time they would hang out without school-related purposes, so there was still plenty of time to be awkward. 

* * *

the moment class ended on friday, dejun’s heart rate shot up at maximum speed. sonic speed, if you will. he trusted kunhang (for some reason), yet a deep, dark part of him feared for his life incase kunhang ended up being a serial killer. of course, that was obviously a reach and it was his idea to meet his family in the first place, but… it never hurt to be cautious. 

right?

oh god, this was a mistake. 

no, no, it’s okay. dejun had to be brave, for kunhang. he still felt that excitement he had the night before, which he used to ground himself while he walked out of the psychology classroom with kunhang at his side. he followed him to the front of the school where the family car had just pulled up. 

the car ride lasted a lifetime, at least that’s how dejun felt. as the mansion- ( _mansion???_ ) came into view, he instantly readjusted himself in his seat. the hitch in his breath was caused by two things: one of them was how breathtaking the exterior of the building was (tall windows, pillars, fountains, koi pond, gardens, marble flooring at the grand entrance). dejun thought he was humble with the house he lived in, but kunhang must be a saint not to brag about his own life everyday. 

the other reason was the sudden warmth on his hand that rested on the empty seat between himself and kunhang. he glanced over, seeing that the other boy put his hand on top of his, squeezing it slightly as a silent comforting, though it felt like kunhang was reassuring himself too. 

they exited the car (dejun with wobbly legs at first) and dejun stared at the marble floor in awe as he followed kunhang to the entrance, satisfied with the way his shoes clicked against the tiles. he almost missed kunhang stopping to open the (ginormous) door, revealing a luxurious foyer with staircases on either side. 

“kunhang?” a female voice called, innocent and questioning. was this déjà vu? 

“i’m home, mother!” kunhang responded, leading them through the foyer and one of the curving staircases. dejun’s heart swelled hearing him speak cantonese again. 

before they turned the corner, kunhang paused in his steps to face dejun with uneasiness in his eyes. “you’re sure you want to meet them, right?” dejun nodded, way too determined for his own good. the taller boy looked away, biting his lip, then continued walking. 

they stopped at an office room, wide and full of bookshelves and a large desk in the middle. dejun noticed a woman placed at the desk working away at filling out papers. she looked up and smiled politely, glasses shifting at the edge of her nose bridge. she wore a lot of accessories, covered in rings, bracelets, crystal earrings, and necklaces. they clanged and blinged every time she moved. 

“hello.” she spoke, standing up to greet dejun with a handshake. “i’m kunhang’s mother, nice to meet you.” she was mannerly, yet monotone, like siri. 

dejun smiled back, pretending not to be slightly disturbed. “i’m dejun, his classmate. nice to meet you too, mrs. wong.” 

“oh, you speak cantonese too. how pleasant.” mrs. wong retaliated. if it weren’t for her tone, she wouldn’t sound so condescending. was it a bad thing dejun spoke cantonese? he wouldn’t know, but he did know this: he definitely felt like he was conversing with a robot. 

_goddamn! sicheng was right. go figure._

kunhang, wanting to leave asap, pulled dejun’s hand, bringing them back to the hallway. 

“by the way, is father home?” he asked from the doorway. mrs. wong shook her head. “he’s still at the company, he got called in for a few extra meetings today.” 

kunhang blinked. “right.” he muttered. this behaviour confused dejun, wondering why he seemed disbelieving at his own mother’s words. kunhang recovered quickly, resuming his usual polite attitude, a gentle smile rested on his face and posture straight as a ruler (no matter how hard dejun tried, he couldn’t get his back aligned as perfectly as the other boy’s). as if nothing unordinary just happened. now that dejun had seen a more personal side of kunhang, this one was starting to creep him out. 

as they headed to kunhang’s room, they passed by all of his older sisters, each in separate rooms that never failed to amaze dejun. seriously, how could a house be this beautiful? 

they finally made it to kunhang’s room, which was more like a suite than anything. kunhang hurriedly shut the door behind them before leaning against it, sighing in relief (with a hint of distress?). 

dejun, who had been speaking minimally until now, quirked an eyebrow as he dropped his backpack onto the floor next to the bed. “hm?” 

kunhang didn’t acknowledge dejun’s slight concern before roughly pushing himself off the door and walking heavily past the older, glaring straight ahead at nothing in particular. 

“fucking psychos.” he snapped before throwing his curtains open, allowing the natural light to pour into the room. he opened the balcony doors just a crack, only enough to clear the stuffiness of the room without being obliterated by the outdoor chills. 

dejun gawked at him, almost feeling whiplash from the other boy going 1 to 100 in less than a second. 

“your family? they’re literally the nicest people i’ve ever met.” he deadpanned, shoving a hand into his pocket from where he was standing in the room. he didn’t want to make it obvious he was unsettled by his family, in case he would offend the other boy. 

kunhang spun around, disbelief all over his face. “i’ll tell you something that’ll fucking blow your mind.” he shrugged off his uniform jacket frustratedly, throwing it on the chair behind him. “my father’s not at work. he’s with his mistress. or one of them, at least.” 

dejun ‘pfft-ed’. “no way.” the other boy huffed, crossing his arms. “yes way. he’s off fucking around with some other woman right now, cheating bastard. my mother knows because he doesn’t even try that hard to hide it. she only lied because you’re here, probably whipped out a flask as soon as we left.” 

“but… she looks so well put together?”

the taller boy scoffed. “you’re blinded by her jewellery. all she does is get herself wasted, drinking away to forget my father’s infidelities… only to remember them the next day.” 

dejun moved to stand in front of kunhang. “do your sisters know?” he questioned softly. 

he scowled. “they don’t fucking care. they have their own problems to deal with. remember the one reading in the parlor? her bedroom reeks of pot. and the one in the music room? her drawers are full of heroin syringes. nice to know that two of my sisters are drug addicts.” 

then he paused, and dejun realized he only mentioned two sisters when he had three. he stayed silent, letting the other boy take his time. 

“.... my favourite was in the gallery. we were close when i was younger, but we drifted as my parents’ company grew and we gained a reputation. then she decided her image was more important than being seen with a nine year old. her own brother.” he spoke, voice quiet and shattered. 

“i know nothing about her anymore, no one does. she shut herself off completely from us. she only does the bare minimum when it comes to us. it’s always ‘smile for the picture! pose with your brother, won’t you be a good sister?’, but that’s about it.” he spat, quickly becoming bitter again. then he sighed and flopped on the end of the bed, slouched and staring at his hands in his lap. 

“i see things nobody else sees, dejun. i used to see someone doing something unusual but i was always too young to understand. the world thinks we’re perfect. i only know how to act like everything’s okay, like i’m this flawless, fraud of a person because what will happen if i don’t? people find out. we’re at the top tier, dejun, and there’s nowhere else to go but down. i could care less about the business but if we lose _that_ , we could lose everything overnight. it could all fall apart. i’m not even sure who i am anymore.” he glanced up at dejun who hadn’t moved or said anything, eyes heavy. “i said too much too soon… sorry if i’m scaring you.” 

dejun softened, moving to sit next to kunhang. he hesitantly wrapped his arms around the other boy, letting kunhang rest his head in the crook of his neck. 

“i wanted to come here in the first place. you poured your heart out, thank you for trusting me.”

kunhang was a bit stiff at first, but quickly enough he returned the hug, allowing himself to melt into the other’s embrace, which felt more loving than anything he’s ever experienced. 

it was silent comfort until a muffled “meow?” came from a distance, followed by quick padding against the door, as if something was trying to get in. 

this startled dejun, who was unaware that the other boy had any pets. he didn’t move at first, however he noticed kunhang hadn’t heard it, so he took initiative to open the door, letting kunhang stay on the bed. 

he timidly opened the door, peaking through the crack until he felt something soft and fluffy run past his foot. “a- hello??” he said to no one, dumbfounded. he looked down, seeing a tiny white and brown cat padding it’s way through the room and closed the door quietly. 

the cat sat in front of kunhang and mewed before he patted his lap and smiled softly. “c’mere, baby.” the cat happily obliged, jumping onto kunhang’s lap and purring, snuggling against his hand as he petted him. 

“i didn’t know you had a cat?” dejun said, returning to his spot next to the taller boy. 

“this is louis, he’s mine. my friend got him for me for my birthday after i saw him at a rescue center and fell in love. he’s the only thing in this household keeping me sane.” he smiled delicately down at the ball of fluff in his arms, stuck in a moment of bliss. had dejun not known better, he never would’ve known how many nightmares this boy had lived through. it made him want to protect kunhang for some reason. 

“he likes to wander in the garden. sometimes he’ll disappear for awhile and i’ll find him sleeping under a tree.” kunhang moved up in the bed so that he could lay down without his feet dangling off the end, pulling louis onto his chest (who curled into a loaf). 

dejun copied him without much thought, laying next to the taller boy on his side so he could face him directly. kunhang looked at him before reaching dejun's hand, guiding it to pet louis, who surprisingly didn’t mind the new touch. 

_i guess it’s a bad time to tell him i’m slightly allergic to cats…. god i’m already getting stuffy… CONCEAL DON’T FEEL BITCH_

despite the protests of his tingling nose and itching throat, he found his position quite comfortable. his eyelids grew heavy as he stifled a yawn, his hand slowing its movement on the back of louis’ head. 

the last thing he heard was the content breathing of the other (already dozed off) boy and louis’ rhythmic purring before sleep took over him. 

_“the most normal one is the youngest son, but he’s got to have a few screws loose as well, having a family like that.”_

_i dunno, sicheng… he seems like a decent person._

  
  
  


dejun awoke later to the consistent vibrating of his phone in his blazer pocket. he also felt the intense need to crack his back. through the dark, he noticed the other boy had changed his position in his sleep, with louis absent and laid on his side facing dejun. 

he pulled his phone out and unlocked it, squinting his eyes at the newfound light from the screen. initially, he thought he was getting a call… but it was just sicheng’s messages spamming the hell out of him. 

> DEJUN

> XIAO

> DEJUN

> XIAOJUNNIE

> JUNNNN

> SIU

> DAKJEUN

> yea im pulling out the canto name what about it 

> SIU

> DAK

> JEUN

> WHERE

> ART

> THOU

> BITCH

**_from: sicheng, 9:30pm_ **

> o my fucking god

> ur fucking dead

> aren’t u 

> BITCH 

> WHERES MY BFF

> MY BESTIE

> MY BEAUTIFUL BABEY 

> WHERES MY GORGEOUS BABY BOY

> WHERED MY ANGEL GO

**_from: sicheng, 9:31pm_ **

> S O B 

> WHY WONT U 

> ANSWER ME 

**_from: sicheng, 9:32pm_ **

woah lol <

dude i’m fine <

i’m at kunhang’s <

**_from: you, 9:32pm_ **

> Y O U

> A S S H O L E 

> UR SO UGLY

> WHY HAVENT U REPLIED ME YET 

> IVE BEEN WORRIED SICK

> YOUVE BEEN GONE FOR HOURS

> DO YOUR PARENTS EVEN KNOW ?? 

**_from: sicheng, 9:32pm_ **

u just called me beautiful tho:(( <

anyway <

i just texted them dw <

sorry :( <

i didn’t mean to worry you <

i fell asleep lol <

just a nap <

maybe for like .. 4-5 hours <

damn i’m sleep deprived lol <

**_from: you, 9:33pm_ **

> ik bb im sorry i didn’t mean it ur gorgeous 

> y u at kunhang’s tho 

> he didn’t kidnap u did he 

> G A S P 

> DO I NEED TO COME SAVE U 

**_from: sicheng, 9:34pm_ **

N O i’m here bc <

well <

it’s hard to explain <

but basically <

um <

… <

i feel like i should say this <

can i call you? <

**_from: you, 9:34pm_ **

> ok but i might start yelling 

> might be embarrassing if ur bf is there

**_from: sicheng, 9:35pm_ **

N O T MY BF <

also it’s whatever <

i’ll just go outside <

i need fresh air anyway <

**_from: you, 9:35pm_ **

dejun clicked the phone icon next to sicheng’s name, leaving the bed and slipping out the door to the balcony, the cool late winter wind hitting his face. it took a ring or two for the other boy to answer. 

“ _what’s happening?”_ sicheng ushered, concern clear in his tone. 

“i said i’m okay, i just left with him after school.” dejun said, attempting to calm sicheng.

“we just hung out, talked about the project. oh, and i met his cat, too. i also met some other people…” he trailed off, waiting for the other boy to catch on. 

“ _you met his parents too??”_

dejun pursed his lips. “yeah. i can’t get into specifics, but...” he quickly looked around him before speaking again. “you were right. there’s something seriously wrong with this family.” 

there was silence. 

“ _what about kunhang?”_

“he’s more… himself when it’s just us. he thinks he’s a fraud because he acts different in public but i think he’s a genuinely nice kid, just scared of making a wrong move.” 

“ _but does he know you’re…”_

“no. i think i’ll tell him soon, though.” 

“ _that’s fair.”_

dejun heard shuffling behind him, meaning that kunhang had woken up. he saw kunhang poke his head out the door, spotting him and raising an eyebrow. he moved his phone from his ear, showing he was calling sicheng. “one second” he mouthed. 

“i have to go, but i’ll see you at school.”

“ _yeah, see you. and dejun?”_

“hm?”

“ _be careful. try not to get mixed up with family stuff. whatever he told you, don’t go causing trouble.”_

dejun’s stomach sank. now that he knew kunhang, he would have to be careful with this information too. if he fucked up, he could jeopardize kunhang and his family. 

whew. talk about no pressure. 

he lowered his voice, seeing kunhang now admiring the night sky as he leant against the doorframe. 

“i’ll never hurt him, i swear. bye, sicheng.”

“ _bye, dejun.”_

dejun hung up, moving to lean on the wall next to kunhang. 

“let’s go somewhere else. i’m bored here.” the other boy spoke, offering his hand out to dejun. 

dejun reluctantly accepted, softly grasping kunhang’s hand with his dainty fingers as he led them back out the bedroom. “you mean… _out_ out? like outside?” 

_his hands. are so. soft. and warm!_

kunhang snickered, footsteps muffled on the carpeted hallway. “no, no. just somewhere inside. it’s too cold out there, wouldn’t want you getting sick because of me.” he turned to look at dejun and grinned. 

dejun thought kunhang looked nice like this, with his smile unrestrained and genuine, carefree of all the stresses and responsibilities in his life. he also liked how the moonlight seeped through the windows and highlighted the angles of his face. it made him look soft and elegant, especially with his hair slightly messy from just having woken up ten minutes ago. “where are we going?” 

kunhang smirked. “to the dungeon,” he spoke, admiring the passing paintings on the wall, pretending not to notice dejun’s horrified expression before being whacked on the shoulder. “i’m serious!” the shorter boy exclaimed before kunhang looked back at him with a shit-eating smile, sending the two into a fit of giggles. 

they roamed the hallways, passing the main kitchen, the great hall, a home theatre, none of which had really interested dejun to the point of making a stop longer than a few seconds glance. they never encountered anyone in particular, mostly assistants and caretakers here and there. it was when dejun lingered in front of a certain doorway longer than usual for kunhang to do something. he entered the music room, dejun following close behind. 

“do you want to play? the acoustics are amazing in here.” kunhang asked, sitting at the edge of a piano bench, leaving a spot for the other boy. dejun quietly followed suit, grazing his fingers against the keys. 

“won’t it disturb people?” 

“nah. most likely my father’s not home, my mother’s passed out, and my sisters are on opposite sides of the building. play as loud as you like.” kunhang gave dejun a closed smile, then played a chord, allowing it to reverberate in the room. 

the shorter boy nodded, and rested his hands across the keys, admiring how different and so much more _expensive_ it felt compared to his own piano at home, and that one was already pricey as is. 

he experimented with a short arpeggio as a warmup and quietly began his go-to piece, gradually building volume. it was one of his favourites, but since he was by himself, he played the melody with his right hand like he usually did. he noticed the gasp of excitement in kunhang’s breath and the way the other boy disappeared halfway through the first chorus and paused, looking behind him to see kunhang take a white violin from its stand. kunhang stood next to the piano, readying his bow, nodding at dejun to continue. 

dejun began playing again, but accompanied kunhang who did the melody this time, switching to using both hands for the counterpart (also was secretly grateful he took the time to learn this part as well). 

it sounded better this way, he thought. they both looked happy, occasionally glancing at one another, being each other’s second halves of the same song. dejun caught sight of the way kunhang moved the bow elegantly, fingers delicate at the grip, his relaxed demeanour and how his hair fell in front of his eyes. 

not that dejun noticed, but kunhang noted dejun’s style of playing as well, thinking he looked ethereal at the piano. he swept the keys effortlessly like it was a sixth sense, lifting his wrists fluidly as he played the song he knew from heart. 

kunhang had never seen dejun so passionate before. 

eventually it ended, dejun finishing it off with a final run, allowing it to be the last sound in the room before it echoes away. he gently rested his hands on his lap, glancing at the other boy as he lowered the violin at his side. 

“you like spirited away, too?” dejun asked. 

“of course! ghibli is my entire childhood, man.” kunhang beamed. 

kunhang looked so tranquil and happy, dejun could never get used to seeing this side of him despite it already occurring earlier with louis. 

“it’s a nice change, you know.” he spoke. the taller boy tilted his head, his bangs shifting over his eyes, but the confusion in them was still visible. 

“what do you mean?” 

“well, i’ve never seen you so content before. even after we met, you’ve been acting the same way as you have at school until recently. you look happier now, it’s nice. i never even realized it was all ‘pretend’ until you told me.” 

kunhang smiled briefly. “years of practice. i’ve gotten good at faking it, people think the kunhang they see at school is… the real...me? god, that’s cheesy.” he snickered to himself. “i think it’s a nice change too. people normally associate themselves with me because they like my money or my face. not you, though. i don’t deserve you.” 

dejun rested his elbow on the edge of the piano, raising an eyebrow. “of course you do. why would you say that?” 

the other boy shrugged. “well, six hours ago i spilled a very dark secret about my upbringing,” he said matter-of-factly. “i thought it would’ve scared you off; my problematic family, my fear of being myself because i hate it, my emotional burdening, yet you’re still nice to me, you still stayed. even when i take off that wretched mask my parents made for me.” 

“i stayed because we’re friends, and i appreciate you for you. nothing will change that.” dejun stood up, standing face to face with kunhang, looking at him with warmth. 

“that‘s weird. you’re never this sentimental.” kunhang said, causing dejun to roll his eyes good-naturedly. 

“we’ve known each other for what? three weeks? despite doing the project, i’ve gotten to know you too. i know the person you are at school, and i know the person you are right now.” he sighed. “in my opinion, it’s all the same, wonderful, hilarious, kind, considerate boy. just, one of them’s happier than the other.” 

“which one is that?”

dejun smiled sadly. “you tell me.” 

the other boy reciprocated the smile, placing the violin and bow on the piano before pulling dejun into a tight hug. dejun rested his head against kunhang’s, heart heavy from their exchange. 

“thank you, dejun. i feel like you know me better than i know myself.” 

“if you don’t know who to be, then go on and come home to me. if you need me, i’ll be here.” the shorter boy said, cutting his sentences rhythmically like a poem. 

kunhang sniffled dramatically. “oh my god, you just quoted keshi. you really do know me!” he fake sobbed, sending the two boys into a fit of laughter. 

* * *

_**(warning: violence/stabbing)**_

“it’s almost midnight. i should go, start homework early tomorrow.” dejun smiled apologetically, gesturing to the entrance of the wong’s library. the two had gone in there awhile ago, running around and making fun of the stupid book covers. 

“um, yeah… about that.” kunhang retaliated, sounding just as apologetic but his voice became darker with every word. he walked towards the other boy with his hands in his pockets. “i don’t think that can happen.” he spoke lowly, face serious with a slightly raised eyebrow. 

dejun took a step back, confused and uncomfortable with the lack of space, especially with the other boy’s new behaviour. “i think it can, actually.” he said warily, stepping back again as kunhang kept approaching him. it only took a few seconds for him to realize he had cornered himself against the wall, too panicked and flustered to run. the taller boy stood in front of him barely a foot away. they were only an inch apart in height, but kunhang still managed to make dejun feel towered over, like he was helpless. 

kunhang tilted his head, angling himself to better see the mixed emotions in dejun’s eyes. he smirked darkly. “today was fun, siujeun. and i really liked being your friend for the past few weeks, but i guess i threw that all away when i told you the truth about my family and the lying, deranged, sons of bitches they are.” dejun’s stomach dropped as the other boy abused his nickname. 

“it’s funny, how you thought i wasn’t like them. almost a decade of trauma and you didn’t think i’d come out unscathed. but i can’t let you leave and risk you running your pretty, little mouth all around the school. who knows how many rumours that would start?” kunhang reached out, moving dejun’s bangs away from his eyes. 

“what should i do with you, then?” kunhang whispered, placing his hand flat on dejun’s chest. “how should i get rid of the boy who knows too much?” 

dejun’s eyes stung, mentally hitting himself for ever thinking the other boy was different from his family. 

_you were right, sicheng._

“i’m not that kind of person to sell you out like that.” dejun spoke firmly yet heartfeltly, raising a hand to rest on top of kunhang’s, keeping his touch as soft as possible. 

“you know i don’t believe that, dear junnie.” the taller boy leaned in, only inches away from dejun’s face. “you see this?” he said, reaching down to pull up his pant leg slightly, exposing his ankle and something black around it. “how about i take it and put it right here?” he pressed a finger against dejun’s chest, right where his heart was. “i’ll make it nice and quick for you, since you’re so nice to me. it’ll be like ripping off a bandaid. what do you think?” 

_he had a knife on him the entire day and i never noticed?? how the fuck..._

he was so rhetorical, yet dejun knew he meant everything he said. it was scary, how he easily sugarcoated his twisted words. “i thought we were friends.” dejun spoke, trying not to let his voice waver as he attempted to tranquilize the situation. 

kunhang smiled sweetly, reaching down under his pant leg and taking out an engraved, narrow blade from its hard-plastic sheath. “you should know better than anyone, dejun,” he raised the blade, holding the tip to where his finger was on dejun’s body. dejun’s breath hitched, staring down at the object at his chest. 

he leaned closer, placing a kiss on his temple before saying softly: “i’m really good at acting.” he chuckled as he put pressure on the knife, letting it dig in until- 

dejun gasped, sitting up in his bed in a cold sweat. he took a second to come back to reality as he realized he was safe and in his own bed, that it was only was a dream. he breathed out in relief before breaking down in tears, covering his face with his hands. his body quivered as he quietly sobbed, incredibly grateful that his dream wasn’t real but also scarred because it still happened in his head. 

he calmed down after awhile and checked his phone for the time, noticing he had a lot of notifications from one person in particular. 

> hey !! 

> pardon me texting @ SUPER SPEED i just had milk tea

> just wanted 2 make sure u got home safe

> it was really dark when u left D:

> the chauffeur told me u didn’t get kidnapped when u walked to ur house from the car but i HAD TO DOUBLE CHECK D: !! 

**_from: kunhang, 11:24pm_ **

> my texts r delivering so i assume you’re alright 

> u must be sleepin then uwu sleepy boi

> today was a long day 

> but it was also really fun !!! for me, at least 

> like actually

> i haven’t had that much fun in so long

> especially because i don’t have to be all prince eric around u 

> that shit’s exhausting. it wears me down, man

**_from: kunhang, 11:25pm_ **

> anyway !! thank you for letting me have that today 

> i’m really glad i met you

> and i’m glad we’re friends, too 

> especially after all that stuff i told you about 

> i thought it would’ve scared you off, that and the fact that i always talk too much

> like i am now, i guess. 

**_from: kunhang, 11:26pm_ **

> but still, i’m genuinely grateful for you and who you are 

> thank you for being understanding 

> and thank you for staying with me :D

> ur a special boy to me

> i’ll see you at school, siujeun <3

**_from: kunhang, 11:27pm._ **

dejun’s heart soared and dropped at the same time, feeling terrible for ever doubting kunhang’s integrity (but happy that he used his nickname caringly this time).

he felt something else, too. something small and new, it sat right there in his stomach. it made him feel giddy, especially when he kept reading kunhang’s messages over and over again. 

he’ll text back kunhang in the morning. 

* * *

within the next week, kunhang and dejun had finally finished their project with six days to spare. their dialogue was ready, and they were confident in the research they’d done. 

a few days before their presentation, dejun was talking about the project with sicheng during their library shift, this time taking the errand of shelving returned books. 

“what did you say the plot was, again?” sicheng asked, grabbing a book from dejun who struggled to get it onto a higher shelf. 

dejun scowled at him before answering. “we made it into a historical skit. the characters are a royal prince and his commoner best friend. they’d known each other since childhood, but as they grew up, the best friend noticed how the prince slowly lost his personality as he was forced to conform to the “ideal and princely” image his parents created for him. eventually, the prince confessed to his best friend about how he hated acting perfect and that his family were actually deeply flawed human beings. it’s cool because we included how different people had different perspectives on the royal family based on their personal experiences with them.” he beamed proudly. 

sicheng, who was already on the other side of the shelf, appeared in one of the gaps between the books, eyeing dejun with a raised eyebrow. “who came up with the plot? and who’s who?” 

“we both did. well, i just suggested the idea but we developed it together. i’m the prince and he’s the friend. why?” 

sicheng stared at him with a ‘really?’ look. “that sounds _awfully_ familiar, dejun.”

“how?” 

“...are you dumb? your plot is kunhang’s _entire life_ in a nutshell.” sicheng deadpanned. 

dejun’s face slowly turned to sudden realization as he dropped a book. “holy shit!” 

sicheng rolled his eyes. 

“he’s the-“ “yup.” 

“and i’m the-“ “yup.”

“i’m the nobody!” “indeed.” 

“what the fuck!” dejun whisper-yelled in disbelief, throwing his arms up that supported his ‘what the fuck!’ statement. 

“do you think he knows?” 

sicheng scoffed. “well, considering you’re one of the smartest people i know and _you_ never realized, i assume he hasn’t either.” dejun dropped his head against the bookshelf, muttering “i’m just a nobody in his story.” and whatnot. sicheng cackled, “yeah you are.”

“oh, sicheng?” dejun spoke, causing the other boy to look at him through the bookcase with a ‘hm?’

“i still haven’t told him.” 

“oh. about the thing?” 

dejun nodded wordlessly. “but you’re going to, right?” 

“of course, it’s the least i could do for him. i don’t know when, though.” 

sicheng looked at him sympathetically, folding his hands together on the shelf and resting his chin on them. “don’t rush into it, man.” 

* * *

“holy shit. i’m so nervous, feel my pulse.” dejun urged quietly for only the boy next to him to hear, holding out his wrist. kunhang, meanwhile, was calm while watching another group’s presentation, maintaining his regular proper posture and angelic demeanour (it felt so weird for dejun to see him like this). he gazed down at dejun’s wrist, reaching to read his pulse. his eyes widened before writing something down on a scrap paper. 

**tf? r u dying? ur heart’s going sicko mode rn**

dejun read it, replying with a **RIGHT??? fucking insane**.

he let kunhang read it quickly before sliding it into his planner, knowing it would stir up something if the teacher caught them, especially for the younger boy. 

dejun hadn’t realized the other group finished their skit until the class applauded, meaning it was now their turn. 

_motherfucker mcfucking ass shit bitch FUCK i’m going to lose my mind… how the hell is kunhang not freaking out right now??_

their teacher called them to the front of the class, they stood by the projector while she provided some instant feedback to lucas and mark, after their q&a. dejun felt a nudge at his arm, causing him to turn his gaze to kunhang. 

“it’ll be fine. just channel your inner actor, you’re good at it.” he whispered, giving him a little smile. dejun’s eyes widened at him. 

it was super uncharacteristic of kunhang, especially at school. to talk while the teacher’s talking? it might as well have been a crime for the local Perfect Student everyone respected so much. nonetheless, it seemed like no one else noticed, but dejun was still shaken. either kunhang genuinely slipped up, or he just… didn’t care anymore. 

that thought scared dejun. he didn’t want kunhang to risk his image for him, it was something he wouldn’t forgive himself for. yet at the same time, the fact that kunhang risked that for dejun, to assure him when he was nervous, it brought back that feeling dejun had before. this time it was a bit stronger, more fluttering. it gave him the urge to do something but he wasn’t sure what. 

he brushed it off, returning the smile and mentally preparing himself to present. 

ms. park smiled at them, signalling for them to start. 

_here goes…_

  
  
  


dejun said his last line, cueing an applause a few seconds after. his heart immediately calmed and his asscheeks unclenched, the presentation was finally over. he quietly sighed of relief and caught kunhang’s facial expression untense as well. together they answered their classmates’ questions before the bell rang, signifying the end of the school day. they waited until they got inside kunhang’s family car (because let’s face it, hanging out at his house was a routine now) to officially lose all composure. 

“oh my god! we did it!” dejun gushed, grabbing kunhang’s hands and intertwining their fingers, shaking their hands around in excitement. his smile was big and bright to which kunhang responded with a softer, more fond one. 

he leaned forward to the driver, “excuse me, can you drop us off after the turn up there? we can walk home, it’s not far.” the man nodded and dejun looked at kunhang with confusion, putting their hands down on the middle seat. “where we going?” 

kunhang side eyed dejun with a knowing smile as the car came to a stop. they exited the car and there stood a bakery. dejun recognized the logo, it was the same one kunhang bought from every time they met up. 

“come on,” kunhang spoke, opening the door for dejun. they walked in, instantly breathing in the scent of freshly baked goods and coffee. dejun’s stomach rumbled immediately, to which kunhang snickered. he waved at the person behind the counter, showing they definitely knew each other. 

“this place has coffee, too?” “only a bit, it’s like a reverse starbucks.” 

kunhang sauntered along the open display case with dejun following close behind. 

“that’s what i usually get for you, but you can pick whatever you want.” kunhang smiled, gesturing to a small, familiar package. dejun picked one up anyway, because he’d been craving them lately (they were really good, okay?). the taller boy got himself a different packet before snatching dejun’s from his hands (despite his protests) and gave them to the girl at the counter. 

“hi, kunhang! just this for today?” she asked, scanning the items. he smiled, nodding. “are you guys catering on saturday?” 

the girl nodded, taking the cash from kunhang and laughing while he was holding dejun back as he fought to pay, ignoring his objections. “it’s a big order, you guys are inviting a lot of people!” 

kunhang hummed, taking the packets from the counter. “big order for big celebration, i guess. let me know if you guys need an extra hand, okay?” he leaned over the table, pulling her into a friendly hug. she complied, beaming. “of course! but your parents and the choi’s paid us generously, even maybe too much, so we have enough to hire help if we ever need it.” 

they pulled away before bidding bye and left the shop. 

“she a friend?” dejun asked, very confused by the encounter but remained silent to not ruin the moment. kunhang nodded. “that company caters most of our events, i’ve known her for years.” 

dejun grinned, leaning in closer to kunhang as they walked back to his house. “oh really? you must be close, huh?” he teased. 

the taller boy turned his gaze to him, raising an eyebrow judgmentally. “she has a girlfriend, dejun.” he deadpanned, gently pushing dejun’s face away. déjà vu? “also, i don’t swing that way. i thought it was obvious.” 

dejun looked at him with raised eyebrows, surprised. “it’s really not. neither do i, could you tell?” kunhang shaked his head. “no, how was i supposed to?” he scoffed. 

“i thought it was obvious.” dejun mocked with a shiteating smile, lowering his voice to make fun of the other boy. kunhang grabbed dejun’s arm gently, shaking it. “shut _up_!” he urged, causing both of them to laugh. 

* * *

“woah.” kunhang muttered, voice muffled from chewing dejun’s cookie that he stole a bite from. he stared at his computer as the older boy sprawled on his bed, mindlessly nibbling on a scone kunhang gave him (inside the bag, of course. he wasn’t a messy eater.). “hm?” 

“i just got the invitation list. your family’s here!” kunhang pointed at the computer. 

dejun sat up on his elbow, leaning over to see the screen. “oh my god. we didn’t have anything to do with the collaboration though, unlike half the people on this list” he hummed, letting kunhang read through the party information. 

“you know, sometimes i meet a really amazing family at an event and wish i were with them instead. i can tell they’re genuinely nice too, it’s a skill you develop when your parents are just a bunch of fakes.” kunhang spoke absentmindedly, chin resting on his elbow. 

dejun turned his gaze to him. 

_now’s a good time, i guess._

“me too, sometimes i encounter a nice couple and wonder if my parents were like them.” he spoke. kunhang’s head snapped at him in surprise. “what do you mean? your parents are so sweet.”

dejun shook his head, chuckling. “nah. mom and dad are nice, yes, but i’m talking about my birth parents. i’m adopted.” the taller boy moved to sit on the bed next to dejun, a soft, questioning look on his face. “really?”

he nodded. “they died in a car accident when i was little, and the xiao’s took me in because they were close friends as well as business partners with my parents. i think it was in 2004?” 

kunhang tilted his head. “2004… wait.” he spoke thoughtfully, then stood up and left the room, dragging a very confused dejun with him. 

“i think i’ve seen something like that before. there’s an article about it in my mother’s office.” he said, walking at a very fast pace. he made a sharp turn around the corner, throwing dejun around like he weighed nothing. 

kunhang barged into the office and began searching through the framed articles on the walls, mainly those related to his family’s previous successful business plans. dejun glanced around warily, “would your mom care that we’re in here?” “she’s at work, it doesn’t matter.” 

dejun, distracted by all the decorations in the room, was pulled by kunhang abruptly to a certain spot next to the bookcase. “it’s this one!” the older first noticed the main headline about the wong’s, but turned his attention to a smaller article at the bottom. 

**september 17th, 2004: ceo of lee corporation and her husband dead in car accident:**

**“... their only son will be taken in soon and adopted by another family. the funeral is set to be next week.”**

“how did you know about the article?” dejun asked. kunhang shrugged. “i used to sneak in here whenever i was bored. that must be you, though, isn’t it?” 

“i guess…” dejun muttered, examined the photo of a smiling young man and woman. he recognized it, it was framed in the parlor in his home. 

“your mother’s pretty. i can see where you get it from.” kunhang spoke. the older glanced at him, dumbfounded. “did you just call me pretty?” 

the taller boy nodded innocently. “yeah, because you are and you deserve to know that.” 

dejun cleared his throat awkwardly, looking away from kunhang to hide his embarrassment, unsure how to accept compliments . “...thank you.” 

the fluttering feeling came back, this time it was very strong and he didn’t know what to do with it. it made him ultimately nervous whenever he looked at or was close to the other boy. dejun had a hunch about identifying this certain emotion, but he really hoped it wasn’t true… it would make everything so much more complicated. 

* * *

dejun stared at himself in the mirror in his third outfit attempt, unable to decide on a suit to wear at the wong’s and choi’s dinner party. they were similar yet different, outlining his slim body in their own ways; one made his shoulders broader, the other made his legs longer (which is probably what he needed the most), but this one had a fitted cut at his torso instead of the regular straight cut. 

he knew he genuinely couldn’t decide on his own, so he texted for backup.

pick a number <

1, 2, or 3 <

**from: you, 5:48pm**

> two :D

**from: kunhang, 5:48pm**

  
  
  


pick a number <

1, 2, or 3 <

**from: you, 5:48pm**

  
  


> DEUX! 

**from: sicheng, 5:48pm**

  
  


_of course they both pick the one that doesn’t make me look fucking short…_

dejun changed back to the second suit, fixing his hair before waiting for his parents to call him to leave for the party. 

they drove to a ginormous venue with lots of expensive vehicles parked on the side. the exterior reminded dejun of the wong’s mansion, with several chandeliers, fountains, marble flooring, this time with lots of entrances from the inside foyer to an undercover area with a bar and some tables. there were already a lot of people there, though it didn’t look busy because of the spacious locale. dejun recognized many of the families, most women in cocktail dresses and gowns while everyone else were in tuxedos and suits to colour match with their significant others. 

the xiao’s checked in at the front, the parents and dejun’s brother leaving to greet other families with dejun close behind, distracted as he tried to find a certain face in the crowd. that is until he felt a tap on his shoulder. 

“there you are! i desperately need to tell you something.” kunhang urged, stretching his arm around dejun’s shoulders, guiding them away to somewhere else. 

dejun, confused again, tried to ignore the burn he felt from kunhang’s arm. “what the hell are you talking about?” 

kunhang led them to a less crowded area of the venue, swiftly snatching two glasses from one of the waiters to make them seem more natural in the current environment, handing one of them to dejun and taking a sip of his own before staring the older boy directly in the eyes.

he looked like he was about to say something but dejun could only focus on how _gorgeous_ the taller boy looked. his suit was black with subtle details on the blazer with a bowtie, and his hair was slightly messy, parted in the middle. it was a classic look but he was handsome, and it was breathtaking for the older boy. he just wanted to grab his face and kiss him right there. 

_what?_

his hunch was definitely right. goddamn. 

and not that dejun knew, but kunhang was just as awestruck at him, admiring how his new hairstyle framed his pretty, little face. dejun was beautiful to him. 

“dejun, there’s going to be something different at this party and i need you to not freak out, i’m telling you because you have more insight than others.” kunhang spoke lowly, but kept a friendly face to look casual to the people around them. 

“huh?” was all dejun could reply with, still recovering from the other boy’s handcrafted-by-the-gods complexion. 

“earlier today, my mother discovered that my father had invited his favourite mistress to the dinner and they’re probably going to hook up later at the hotel nearby. she drank a shit ton of whiskey before we got here, but she’s trying her best to not seem drunk out of her mind in public. my father’s unfazed, but he’s definitely moodier than usual.” kunhang continued, smiling at someone who had greeted him mid sentence. 

that’s what broke dejun’s trance, he was suddenly curious to see the reputable mr. and mrs. wong slowly come undone at the party. 

“what about your sisters?” he asked. 

“two of them have been secretly trying to sober my mother up without taking her away and accidentally causing a scene, and the third one is just greeting people, pretending not to be a part of the family again.” kunhang responded coldly. 

dejun glanced around, realizing he still didn’t know what she looked like. he eventually noticed a fair, young girl in a dark purple dress having a conversation with an older couple. she was pretty, and had familiar facial features, she was definitely kunhang’s sister. 

“shit, there’s my mother. she’s about to make a toast, i really hope she doesn’t fuck it up.” kunhang muttered, turning to face his mother at the front of the room. they stood shoulder to shoulder, occasionally their hands would touch and send fire down dejun’s nerves. 

mrs. wong tapped the microphone lightly, grabbing everyone's attention. “hello, everybody,” she began, sounding a little bit strained. it was subtle, but dejun definitely noticed something off about her based on the first time he met her. 

a hair strand out of place, cheeks rosier and eyes hazier than usual, her bejewelled necklace was crooked ever so slightly, and her grip on the microphone was a little too tight. to anyone else, she was as perfect as ever. but to dejun, she was _not_ okay. 

“i would like to thank you all for coming to celebrate the success of our project with the choi’s,” she gestured to the family on her right, “this is only the start of a new path for us…” she continued talking but dejun couldn’t find it in him to pay attention. instead, he noticed kunhang’s father at the side of the room, standing next to a younger woman a bit too closely. he spotted his other sisters scattered around the room but they were most definitely holding it together better than their parents. dejun secretly hoped tonight wouldn’t backfire on the wong’s, especially kunhang. 

suddenly there was an applaud, meaning mrs. wong had finished her toast. he snapped back to reality, clapping along with everyone else, gently tapping his right hand that was holding his drink until the applause died out. he watched as the crowd focused on each other and mrs. wong walking unsteadily once she was out of the spotlight. 

“that was excruciating to watch.” kunhang spoke, not bothering to lower his voice due to the background chatter and music from the hired string quartet. dejun nodded in agreement. 

the taller boy cleared his throat, then downed the rest of his drink in one gulp and slipped the glass onto a passing caterer’s tray. “let’s find something to eat.” 

* * *

dejun sat at the table by himself, enjoying his time alone as kunhang had to catch up with his parents’ associates. over time, the lighting had dimmed slightly, some people helping themselves to desserts, while everyone else mingled with one another. dejun had briefly talked with some people who his parents introduced him to, occasionally meeting some of their daughters they not-so-subtly suggested setting him up with. luckily, mr. and mrs. xiao knew about dejun’s sexuality, so they skillfully pushed the topic away. he even encountered kunhang’s friend, having a fleeting conversation with her during her break. 

he silently admired the decorations of the room and allowed himself to relax against the sound of the string ensemble and people chatting in the background. his focus changed when he realized the ensemble was replaced by a dj and the chandeliers changed to disco lighting. people began gathering on the empty space on the floor, taking their significant others and friends to dance. the current music was energetic, and it was entertaining watching the normally strict company officials let loose for once.

dejun felt a presence next to him, hearing the sound of someone flopping down on the chair with a quiet huff. “i’m done talking to people, like, i’m actually done.” kunhang spoke, causing dejun to look at him with sympathy. “it’s okay, the night’s almost over.” 

kunhang reached under the table, taking one of dejun’s hands that were politely folded in his lap. he intertwined their fingers, searching for some sort of familiarity in a night of talking to new faces. he let their hands rest under the table to not raise any suspicion, giving dejun a small smile despite the other boy showing great bewilderment to the bold and sudden move. 

this was a habit; the taller boy would randomly hold dejun’s hand and then act like it was no big deal. but to dejun, oh no, to him it was a _very_ big deal. even though he’d held kunhang’s hand many times, it still felt as new and as heart racing as that first time when they wandered the halls of the wong residence. dejun never got used to it. 

the music changed, now a song that was slow with calming instrumentals. people divided from the crowd, getting close with their significant others to slow dance. dejun felt a light tug at his arm, causing him to look at the other boy. “wanna dance?” he offered softly, eyes sincere and comforting. 

dejun was hesitant, knowing he would most definitely get flustered on the dance floor out of shyness. he also knew that his family would see him and tease him for days. he nodded anyway, seeing as he hadn’t done much in the evening. 

(and to make kunhang happy, but he won’t admit that.) 

he let kunhang lead them to the dance floor hand in hand, dejun already feeling the shyness. he rested his hand on the taller boy’s shoulder, extending the one that was already holding kunhang’s. kunhang placed his hand gently on dejun’s waist, holding him close. dejun shivered slightly from the newfound contact. 

they swayed together to the music, dejun occasionally shyly hiding his face in kunhang’s chest for a few seconds when the eye contact got too much. he even spotted his parents dancing together on the other side and his brother sitting at the bar with a shiteating smile on his face, knowing they’ll all make fun of him later. despite the floor being decently filled with couples, dejun felt like everyone was watching them. 

“i feel like this is a really bad time to do this, but you look so pretty tonight.” kunhang spoke faintly, earning a “huh?” from the older boy. 

kunhang looked at dejun with determined yet gentle eyes. he stopped their movements, now just standing in the middle of the floor. “i’m gonna do something, and if you don’t want it or you feel uncomfortable at any time, stop me. i won’t want to force you. got it?” 

dejun could only nod, secretly hoping the other boy was going to do what he thought he was going to do. it was weird to think that kunhang felt the same way when dejun himself had been suppressing his emotions for weeks. 

but what about his reputation? was the public really okay with him kissing another boy? the older was suddenly worried, but his thoughts were clouded when he realized kunhang moved his hand from dejun’s waist to brush his hair from his eyes and cup his face ever so gently. 

kunhang slowly leaned down, causing dejun’s breath to hitch as he tilted his head slightly. his eyes fluttered shut when kunhang stopped an inch away from him. eventually, their lips met and dejun’s heart soared, kissing back gently to show kunhang he had his consent. soon enough, the room was filled with awh’s, and a few claps as everyone noticed the two boys. it was the opposite of the reaction dejun had expected, and it was nice. 

until a screech was heard from the back of the room. it startled kunhang and dejun, pulling back to find the source of the almost inhumane sound. they saw mrs. wong, angry, visibly drunk, and stomping her way through the crowd as they made room for her to pass by. 

“NO!” she yelled, getting in between and forcefully pushing the two boys apart. she pointed at kunhang strictly, arm shaking and voice furious. “how DARE you kiss another boy! i fucking raised you better than this! don’t let him make you DISGUSTING! ABNORMAL! he’ll take you to hell with him!” she spat out, causing gasps to go around the room. she was obviously too drunk to censor herself now, and there was no going back. there were already faces turned to disgust at the words she said, instantly losing respect for the woman. 

“and YOU!” she slurred, now pointing at dejun who looked surprised and slightly scared. “the fucking NERVE of you to ruin my son! no wonder your parents left you, you fucking FREAK!” 

dejun’s heart dropped as he took a step back, astounded by that sentence. “you knew my parents?” he spoke, voice quivering slightly. 

mrs. wong scoffed. “of course i did. i recognized you the first day we met, you’re the spitting image of your mother. i’d be embarrassed too, to have a son that looked like me and was a freak of nature. your parents made the right move to kill themselves because of you.” she spat. 

dejun’s eyes stung. kunhang walked to him, nudging his mother out of the way. the older felt another presence in front of him as he tried to hold back his tears. “the lee’s death had nothing to do with dejun’s sexuality. they didn’t even know about it. they died in a car crash when a truck sped and toppled over.” mrs. xiao spoke firmly, defending her son and her late friends. 

“i can’t believe you adopted him, he’s so disgusting and unwanted.” mrs. wong hissed. dejun took a deep breath to calm himself. “say what you want about him, it’ll never be true. he’s MY son and he’s perfect the way he is. he doesn’t need to fake his personality for people’s approvals, unlike _you._ ” dejun’s mother snapped. 

she didn’t mean to, but she ended up stabbing that last sentence into the rest of the wongs, especially kunhang. 

“he still forces other boys to kiss him, right, kunhang? he forced you, right?” mrs. wong pried, trying to get her son on her side. 

kunhang shook his head, ashamed of his mother. “no, he didn’t force me. in fact, i initiated it. i’ve liked boys for awhile now, but you never noticed. you never cared.” 

she scowled. “you’re right. i don’t care. because no son of mine is gay and proud of it.” kunhang opened his mouth to talk before she raised her finger to shut him up. “save it. you are no longer my son, wong kunhang. you’re not welcome in my household anymore.” she snapped before storming off to god knows where. 

the boy unstiffened, looking at the empty space in disbelief. the room remained silent, everyone too shaken by the situation. he glanced around, searching for his family. his father was gone, probably disappeared with his mistress during the confrontation. one of his sisters stumbled out of the bathroom, an empty syringe in her hand. another one popped a mint in her mouth. but the third one, the one in the purple dress, she looked apathetic and bored. kunhang had made proper eye contact with her for the first time in years. even in a situation like this, she wouldn’t bother getting herself involved with her brother. 

he felt a soft hand grasp his, familiar and warm. it was dejun, who tried his best to comfort him despite being run through the ground by a homophobe. a different hand appeared on his shoulder, rubbing it in a consoling, motherly way. he smiled at mrs. xiao as a thank you before walking to the front of the room, taking dejun with him. he turned on the microphone, leaning into it on the stand. 

“i sincerely apologize that you all had to see that. i only ask that you enjoy yourselves for the rest of the night without the burden of witnessing my mother- mrs. wong unravel. i also thank those who didn’t get themselves involved, i understand the situation was new and surprising to those who held high respect for us, it would be difficult to process in the moment. please, enjoy the rest of the night, everyone. thank you.” kunhang said, earning a short applause before the music started again, everyone slowly going back into conversation. 

that night, dejun accompanied kunhang who individually apologized to everyone, saving the choi’s for last. the choi’s were surprised, obviously, and decided to postpone future projects with the wong’s indefinitely. regardless, kunhang had managed to console their guests even though dejun kept repeating that he wasn’t obligated to do so. 

* * *

dejun watched as the venue slowly emptied out. many guests congratulated him and kunhang for their relationship but they didn’t know (neither did the two boys) what they really were yet. dejun remained quiet with kunhang, sitting at the bar together, still damaged from the piercing words of mrs. wong. 

“can we leave?” kunhang spoke. dejun remained silent for a second. “leave? and go where?” 

“i don’t know, anywhere. anywhere but here.” he murmured, standing up from the bar stool. the older boy whispered an “okay” before following kunhang to the back entrance of the locale. he glanced around for his family, but he couldn’t find them. he texted his brother instead. 

  
  


hey <

i’m gna stay behind w kunhang <

tell mom and dad <

you guys go home first <

**from: you, 11:36pm**

> aight

> be careful

> lmk if u need a ride 

**from: 哥哥, 11:37pm**

thanks <

**from: you, 11:37pm**

  
  


dejun stuffed his phone in his back pocket, finding kunhang leaving through the back exit. he caught up to him, loosening his tie around his neck to relieve himself of being restrained by it all night. he noticed kunhang had already undone his bowtie, letting it hang off his neck. 

they kept walking, no location in particular, just them and the cool wind of the night. it was mostly silent, both of them were ignoring the many topics that had to be discussed. “wait, i know where we are. if we turn down there, we’ll see the school.” dejun spoke, nodding towards an empty intersection. 

“let’s go, then.” kunhang chirped, sounding mildly excited about sneaking into the school. dejun snickered. “you really want to go there? i know a back entrance to the library that should be open. the closing workers always forget to lock it.” he spoke. 

together, they ran to the school, giggling as dejun led them inside the library, feeling the adrenaline of being where they weren’t supposed to. they sat behind the counter where dejun worked, out of breath and kept bursting into laughter as they tried to keep quiet. 

they stopped abruptly as they heard footsteps in the distance. kunhang remained underneath the counter, but dejun poked his head up to see who was there. he spotted someone trying to sneak out of the library, just a silhouette holding a few narrow, rectangular objects. the person kept glancing around but ended up kicking a table they didn’t notice. 

“shit… that fucking hurt, what the fuck.” they hissed, holding their foot. dejun recognized that voice. he stood up from behind the counter, startling the intruder. “donghyuck?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

the person let out a sigh of relief. “hey, dejun. what’s up?” 

dejun leaned against the counter, causing kunhang to stand up next to him. “ _you’re_ the locker door thief? but why?” 

donghyuck cackled. “it’s fun to fuck around with authorities. see you later, guys.” he laughed one more time before leaving the library, leaving the two boys bewildered. 

“who would’ve thought?” kunhang snickered, hopping to sit on the counter. they laughed, but it died out shortly. they stood in silence for a bit, avoiding eye contact. the taller boy cleared his throat. “so about earlier…” 

“what about earlier?”

“well… i’m really sorry about my mother. i’m sorry for dragging you into this mess and it was my fault to let her insult you like that, i should’ve stepped in sooner.” kunhang spoke, awkward but sincere, genuinely guilty for letting dejun be treated so harshly. 

dejun stood in front of kunhang, resting his hands on his knees. “kunhang, it’s okay. i don’t blame you at all. you are not your family and you’re not responsible for their actions. also, you should’ve figured out by now that i’m only going to stick with you if you want me too. i’m not leaving anytime soon.” 

he let out a small sigh. “but i would like to know why you kissed me earlier.” he spoke. 

kunhang groaned in embarrassment. “because i really wanted to, ever since that day in the music room. and tonight, to be so close with you on the dance floor, i got bold and lost control of myself. i never thought i was capable of these feelings, but to have someone i don’t have to fake my personality around and who accepts me… it’s really nice.” he fiddled with his hands in his lap, voice becoming quiet. 

dejun gently traced patterns at the bottom of kunhang’s thighs, enjoying the feel of the fabric of his dress pants. “so… you feel the same way i do?” 

the taller boy paused, hands stilling in his lap. “if by that you mean i feel that you’re extremely special to me and i secretly _really_ want to kiss you again?” 

dejun laughed. “more like whichever side you show to the world, i see little difference and they all still manage to make me feel all happy and gooey inside. is that cheesy?” he smiled with a grimace, causing the other boy to grin. 

“but… i think we can agree on the last part.” dejun said quietly, grasping onto the ends of kunhang’s undone bowtie and pulling him in, their lips meeting for the second time that night. 

they ended up going back to dejun’s, feeling it was an inappropriate time to stay at the wong residence (yet they snuck in to snatch kunhang’s cat). dejun offered a spare set of clothes for kunhang and mrs. xiao brought up tea for them as they stayed in the older boy’s room. 

dejun texted sicheng while kunhang showered. 

  
  


> HELLO ??? DEJUN ARE YOU OKAY

> i wasn’t there at the party but oh boy does news spread quick 

> i heard what mrs. wong said to you guys

> but first off, congratulations, you two are adorable and i wish u both happiness 

> second, WHAT THE FUCK

**from: sicheng, 12:58am**

> who does she think she is to talk to you that way

> if i were there i would’ve smacked the duck outta her 

> fuck***

> are you okay?? 

> pls respond wtf

**from: sicheng, 12:59am**

hihi i’m fine <

i love u <

thank you for being the best best friend <

but i’m fine i promise <

i’ll explain everything later <

tonight was a long night <

**from: you, 1:00am**

> omg of course of course pls take ur time

> let yourself relax u deserve it

> ily bb goodnight 

**from: sicheng, 1:01am**

:’(( <

ilyt <3 <

gn sicheng <

**from: you, 1:01am**

* * *

“how do you feel, kunhang?” dejun asked. they sat in dejun’s bed, watching ghibli films on his bedroom tv. the taller boy raised an eyebrow at him. “don’t look at me like that. your mother just… disowned you as her son, what are you gonna do now?”

kunhang tilted his head, thoughtful of his answer. “well, it hurts, obviously, but also kind of relieving. i lost respect for those monsters long ago. it was like being toys in a dollhouse, only putting on a pretty face to please the public but no one knows what we do once we’re not seen. as long as no one looks through the curtains…” he sighed, watching as chihiro rode the train with kaonashi. “still, i’ll try to talk things out with her when she’s..sober. make things work until i move out for university.” 

dejun hummed in understanding, petting louis who had jumped onto the bed. “what about you?” kunhang questioned. “you _did_ just get vomited insults on from that woman.” 

the older boy let out a breathy laugh. “about being gay, i don’t care. yeah, it hurt in the moment but i just mainly hate being yelled at. but the part about my birth parents… i remember them being supportive and super loving, so i didn’t take what she said to heart. even so, i have the xiao’s to take care of me. and you do, too, i can tell by the way my mother talks to you that she wants to adopt you.” they laughed at the last sentence. 

“can i tell you something?” kunhang asked after a minute of silence, absentmindedly watching chihiro fly away on dragon haku. “what’s up?” dejun responded, looking up at him. 

“my family, no matter how good actors we were, still struggled to hide our true colours in public. i always knew it would be our downfall one day, it was just a matter of who would crack first. it was scary, thinking that person could be me.” kunhang spoke. 

dejun scoffed. “oh, please. you would’ve been the last person to fuck up like your mom did. do you realize you’re the _only_ one who pretty much acts the same in and out of public? remember what i told you that night in the music room?” 

_“in my opinion, it’s all the same, wonderful, hilarious, kind, considerate boy. just, one of them’s happier than the other.”_

kunhang nodded slowly. “yeah, i remember.” 

“and tell me, kunhang. do you know which one’s happier now?” dejun questioned, resting his hand on top of kunhang’s. 

he looked at the boy next to him, the one who turned his life around in the span of two months, the one who brought out the side he was insecure of, the one who stayed, the one who accepted. the one who was always with him. they still had a very long way to go, but kunhang knew he wanted to experience it with dejun. 

“yeah, i do.” he smiled, intertwining their fingers. 

_always with me._

**Author's Note:**

> hi. if u see this, please comment on anything, give sum feedback, your thoughts while reading, etc... anything is appreciated :D thanks for reading! 
> 
> oh and ALSO:: everyone's personalities and actions are adjusted to fit the story!! i dont mean to diss anyone or imply that they act like that irl!! i just felt like i needed to clarify that lolol
> 
> find me on twt where i yell abt everything !! @ghost__naps


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